I think this is how most "accidents" in the home occur.

I'm always amazed how fast automotive technology is advancing.

The failed interview.

It's like a car dealership for people with Tourettes.

Skeet golf or golf skeet? Who knows, but it's funny.

What do you get when you add gravity and an itchy dog? This video.

prius bastard. Andy Richter makes an appearance in this, um, "commercial?"

More random motivational-type posters. See the first set here.

A rather 'cheeky' prank for the adult crowd. That's right, no kids around.

Your side of the family. To all of you hillbillies out there.

Waterbed prank gets store patrons all wet.

Old Man Leaner defies the laws of gravity.

Baptism some kids just can't wait to get baptized.

Doggone funny. If you think this is crazy, you should see him poop.

Mad cat disease. A collection of crazy cats doing crazy things. You know, the usual.

Hoppy Easter



















































Easter funnies


What is Easter?

Three blondes just died and are at the pearly gates of
heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the
gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter
asks the first blonde, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, it's the holiday
in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey,
and are thankful..."

"WRONG," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the
second blonde the same question, "WHAT IS EASTER?"

The second blonde replies, "No, Easter is the holiday
in December when people put up a nice tree, exchange
presents, and celebrate the.......the birth of........
of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head
in disgust, looks at the third blonde and asks, "WHAT
IS EASTER?"

The third blonde smiles and looks St. Pete in the eye.
"I know what Easter is. Easter is the Christian holiday
that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover.
Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper
and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the
Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him
to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to
wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross. He
was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a
large boulder. Every year the boulder is moved aside
so that Jesus can come out, and if he sees his shadow
there will be six more weeks of winter."


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Easter Bunnyisms

Everything I Need To Know I Learned From The Easter Bunny

Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

Walk softly and carry a big carrot.

Everyone needs a friend who is all ears.

There's no such thing as too much candy.

All work and no play can make you a basket case.

A cute little tail attracts a lot of attention.

Everyone is entitled to a bad hare day.

Let happy thoughts multiply like rabbits.

Some body parts should be floppy.

Keep your paws off other people's jellybeans.

The grass is always greener in someone else's basket.

An Easter bonnet can tame even the wildest hare.

To show your true colors you have to come out of your shell.

The best things in life are still sweet and gooey!


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Excuses given by the guards at the empty tomb of Jesus...


"I thought he was the pizza delivery guy leaving. No wondered he smiled when
I tried to give him a tip!"

"I was putting another denarius in the chariot meter!"

"With the earth shakin' and all the bright lights, we figgered we was
abducted by aliens!"

"Since the tomb was already empty when the stone was rolled away, I'm afraid
you're speaking to the wrong department. Let me give you a BR#245-A-Res form
and direct you to Burial Services."

"As we've already stated several times before, according to the legal
definition of "escape", we emphatically deny any wrongdoing in this matter!"

"We was HYPNO-TIZED! Centurion Bobicus is still clucking like a chicken!"

"You told us to secure the tomb as best as we know how (Mat. 27:65). We did!
May I suggest an assessment of our current training program?

"All I know is, this better not mess up my early retirement package!

"Hey! What'd you expect? Did you tell us we were guarding the Son of
God?--NOOOOOOOOO!"

"What's the big deal? He said He'd be back!"

You can't fix stupid



Video clips of ordinary people doing extraordinarily stupid things.

Snap, crackle, pop.

This has made its rounds awhile ago, but it still makes me laugh. Remember, guns don't scare people, husbands do.

Random office humor














































A young executive was leaving the office of a major corporation late
one evening when he found the CEO himself standing in front of a
shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

Eager to make a good impression, the young exec introduced himself
and asked if he could be of any help.

"Why yes," said the CEO, holding up the piece of paper. "This is a
very sensitive and important document, and my secretary has gone for
the night. Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive, happy for a chance to help the boss.
The young man turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside
the machine. "I'll need two copies."

The new Sumsing Phone...it does EVERYthing.

First time dad.

Tom Mabe one of the best telemarketer pranks.

Chicken CPR. This has made its rounds throughout the 'net, but it's worth another look. Video quality is HORRENDOUS. If you've a better one, send to me at shiny (at) shinyhappyhead (dot) com.

Barbie recently turned fifty, so check out the newest Barbie on the block that'll have college guys all aquiver.

Silly bathroom fun; America's Funniest Videos-style

The stars were aligned


Can you believe it? This guy wins 181 million dollars and then just TWO days later, finds the love of his life. Talk about LUCK!








Yeeaah. Luck.

Truth in advertising.

Sobriety tests are getting harder. If only this were real. From Reno 911.

A Man's Guide for Choosing What to Wear

romantic dinner goes south

chat fail


bloodninja - THIS IS FUNNY!!!

Publish at Scribd or explore others: Humor-Lists-and-Quot bloodninja

How Twins are Made

Happy VD: Spread the Love

I'm not saying that all women are bad drivers, buuuuut . . .







Hey, a woman sent this to me thankyaverymuch. Tell 'em, Connie.

Snorkeling in Wisconsin






...or "why I'll never drink again."

Random Motivational Posters



Some old, some gnu.

Where's My Chips?

The Blonde Antelope

What's Your Emergency?







I think this is from Leno.

Children's Laws of Science




It's a Scientifically Proven Fact:

It can take a four-year-old approximately ten minutes to put on their shoes.



See below examples of subject 1a (codename: Lauren):





















Whew! Finished.

Yeah, I'm a Good Driver: Take 3





Ah, the coup de stupid.

Yeah, I'm a Good Driver: Take 2

Yeah, I'm a Good Driver: Take 1

36-Hour Cialis, Redux


When the moment arrives, will you be ready? Adults only!

For adult eyes only, this is great!

This invention is the, well, you know.

You Know the Recession Has Reached Critical Status When...

I'm sure we all know someone who needs to be "helped."